i’ve been pals with this specific woman for a while. She dumped her date. We’ve been texting plenty â like 200 messages a week. I hold obtaining blended indicators from the lady, and I also really like this lady. Should I do it now? But Really don’t desire to destroy the friendship sometimes. We also hang out, and I also think she actively seeks me personally into the places.
-Ivan S. Bently (Kansas)
Hi, Ivan. Thanks for trusting united states using this essential personal problem.
There is a large number of possibilities to explain what are you doing right here, but let me provide you with my “take.” Firstly, you state she is delivering blended signals, which most likely means she’s baffled and never certain of just what she desires.
She could still have thoughts or dreams for commitment she only remaining, or she might be available to help make a move. She may still maintain the recovery process, and she is almost certainly not willing to be viewed openly with another man but.
Texting could be her method of trying and linking nowadays while she completes psychologically disconnecting from her ex. She can be confused if the woman relationship for you often looks likes its evolving into one thing larger, but she’s unclear should you “like” like this lady.
For you, Ivan, you’re in a very precarious place immediately. She is from the rebound and requirements mental help. She trusts both you and seems better when she shares some texts or hangs aside along with you. She actively seeks you for the halls because she loves you, within one means or another, and that’s in which you need to be cautious. Any time you place the relationship very first above your own curiosity about matchmaking her as a girlfriend, you are in severe risk of being directed on “friend zone,” and that’s a difficult place to getting away from.
My advice to you is to find alongside their and talk physically. It ought to be early in the day and quicker than a real go out, nevertheless gives you a concept if she really wants to view you or perhaps not. Inform the girl she needs to get out and take one hour to have a good laugh appreciate by herself therefore would love the chance to talk to the girl in a tad bit more range, as well. Pick a spot where your pals never go â possibly a Starbucks anywhere â so she will feel as though her confidentiality has been secured.
Ask her just how she is doing of course, if the woman is certainly done together with her ex. Shell out really attention to her body gestures. Is she leaning closer or away? Is actually she big-eyed and smiling, or detached and careful? Is she behaving “girly” or like a buddy?
Absolutely yet another thing you must do: Tell their really matter-of-fact way that you like their. Next never say another word. She’s got to get next anyone to speak. Check this lady squarely inside vision so she will be able to see your energy along with your sincerity. Boldly and confidently grasp the woman neck or fingers. Just be sure she understands you are looking at her in an enchanting man-woman sort of method.
End up being strong and type but never ever emotional or eager. Generate her should come to you for caring and comfortable man you will be and not your great boy that is “safe” and harmless. The woman real thoughts and purposes should reveal on their own as dialogue unfolds.